Sink Your Teeth into Castlevania, Part III: Aria of Sorrow

Even the grittiest, most weathered of Castlevania fans has at some point asked him- or herself, “How many whip-toting vampire killers can I play as before I lose interest in the series I love?” Also, “If a bug crawls up my nose, could it bite my brain?” Though it might seem like Konami is willing to churn out the same product over and over again with a different set of clothes, it looks like they were wondering the same thing: Yes, you need to protect your nostrils while you sleep if you value your plump, delicious brain. Also, playing as a whip wielding character 100 times over might wear thin after a while, just like Family Guy’s irreverent brand of “humor.”

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow – the last game in the GBA “Metroidvania” trilogy – inserts a metal pole in the spokes of the established Castlevania cannon, taking place three decades in the future and focusing on swords and blunt weaponry instead of the immortal Vampire Killer whip. Like 1994’s Castlevania: Bloodlines and several other key games in the franchise, Aria takes a decidedly different path than its whip crazy comrades and provides yet another excellent action-adventure romp though Dracula’s horrible home.

If you’ve been taking my advice, you’re already whipping your way through Circle of the Moon and Harmony of Dissonance. Good for you, but know that your greatest transportable triumphs await you in the final CV title for the GameBoy Advance.

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow is the most recent Castlevania on GBA and is very similar to the PlayStation classic Symphony of the Night. The year is 2035. Effeminate high school student Soma Cruz and his childhood friend are knocked unconscious during a solar eclipse and awaken in Dracula’s castle, and it is up to Soma to get them out. Along the way, the player comes face to face with the largest, most screwed up CV cast the ol’ GameBoy Advance has to offer; anyone with a background in classic gaming will immediately recognize that Yoko is a descendant of Castlevania III’s slick sorceress Sypha Belnades and Mr. Arikado is the poorly-disguised hero of a few other CV games. Just say “Arikado” out loud. Now, pretend you’re a native of Japan and do it again. Get the picture?

As I mentioned before, the biggest shock to fans of previous Castlevania titles is that the main character does not wield the Vampire Killer whip. This time around – just like Symphony – the player can equip many different types of weaponry, ranging from small daggers and a mammoth sword that takes up half the screen to a thoroughly un-Castlevania pistol. Castlevania purists will be glad to hear that when one finishes Aria of Sorrow, he or she is given the chance to play through again as the whip-weilding Julius Belmont, or they can start the game over with all the weapons and items acquired in the previous file.

My bones, your bones, OH CRAP bones!

Aria of Sorrow’s plot borders on clever and is the best of the GBA trilogy. There are multiple endings to this game, similar to Harmony of Dissonance. The only problem is that they are obtained in seemingly random ways, just like Silent Hill 2. I suggest looking online for the methods.

The graphics are even better than Harmony, with super detailed backgrounds and big, scary monsters. However, your character remains small in comparison with everything else. Oh well; I guess you can’t have it all. Also, Konami has learned not to mess with a good thing, as evidenced by the familiar controls. The only change is that the R button does special attacks and the L button activates special abilities. And much to the distain of old-schoolers, the soundtrack has returned to the high quality music found in Circle of the Moon, though most of the tracks aren’t very memorable. In addition, the sound effects are a slightly better than the previous titles.

There’s doubt about it: Aria of Sorrow is the best of the GBA Castlevania trilogy and it stands up to the test of time. While we’re waiting for Lords of Shadow to blow our minds and the Nintendo 3DS to bite what’s left of our brains with a fantastic new Castlevania title, do yourself a favor and take a gander at the GBA Castlevania legacy. Remember: Whether you do it on an NES, GBA or a PS3, beating the heck out of Dracula simply never gets old.

Sink Your Teeth into Castlevaina, Part II: Harmony of Dissonance

Sometimes waiting around is hard work. Like a father in a delivery room, a wife trying to stay calm during her husband’s critical heart surgery, or a FPS superfan trying to contain his excitement for Duke Nukem Forever over the past 13 years, the last two weeks before the release of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow on the Xbox 360 and PS3 is excruciating for many of the Castlevania faithful. But instead of getting your fangs in a twist, why not play some of the older CV titles you already have, starting with the good ol’ GameBoy Advance trilogy?

Yesterday we examined Castlevania: Circle of the Moon and I spewed forth my love and admiration for it like a mighty fire hose. So all of you went out, found a copy and are playing it now, right? Well PUT IT DOWN and take a gander at the next of the GBA ‘Vanias here on Wordsmith VG. Now distract your elderly neighbor with a festive Autumnal Equinox dance while you steal her Social Security check, “borrow” a cement mixer from the construction crew down the street, and make a b-line though an elementary school to the nearest used games shop so you can complete your portable CV package today!

In Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance, the second Castlevania game for GameBoy Advance, the unfortunately dressed vampire hunter Juste Belmont learns from his childhood buddy, Maxim, that one of their mutual friends was kidnapped… by demons or something! Gasp! Predictably, the duo dashes into Dracula’s newly resurrected castle to rescue their princess.

Harmony retains the intriguing backgrounds of Circle and slightly increases the size of the main character and the other enemies. The bosses are still huge and detailed, but with his snazzy red leisure suit jacket, poor Juste looks more like a circus master than a vampire hunter. It seems that’s par for the course, however, given the fact that Circle of the Moon’s main character looked like a shmoe compared to his rival Hugh.

Run! Run! Or you'll be well done!

In order to cram so much into the graphics, Konami apparently wrote the soundtrack to this game with the same software they used for 1985’s Yie Ar Kung-Fu; Harmony of Dissonance sounds more like Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest than it does Circle of the Moon. Tinny, mono midi music fills my dark heart with joy because I grew up with NES games taking precedence over things like friends, school and eating. Fools who started gaming in the PlayStation era or later think I’m crazy and prefer the symphonic sound of Circle of the Moon, but they also suck at hardcore platformers and go crying to mommy when there’s no save function. So there’s that.

The controls are basically the same as Circle, which is a good thing. The only difference is that the run function was replaced with a dash that’s performed with either of the shoulder buttons, saving a little wear-and-tear on your thumb.

Take that!

The excellent gameplay continues to revolve around exploring Dracula’s abode, only this time, there are two castles instead of one. Thankfully there are a few shops scattered throughout the castles, meaning that if you can’t find any decent armor or items, at least you can buy something before getting your head handed to you in a decisive battle. The only problem is that this game is a wee bit easy: I was able to plow through it in 8 hours, and if you weren’t concerned with being thorough, you could definitely do in Dracula in 5 hours or less. Oh well; at least you get to play through the game again as Maxim after you finish it once.

Despite all of its similarities to Circle of the Moon, Harmony of Dissonance has a different feel and a style all its own and I ever-so-slightly prefer it over Circle. It’s a little hard to find, but if you do come across it, pick it up. And if you’re really lucky, you might find the CV double pack that features both Harmony and the next game, Aria of Sorrow, in one convent cartridge.

So what could possibly top a renegade ringmaster whipping the undead out of that nefarious nosferatu, Dracula? …Would you believe some emo teen from 25 years in the future? Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of the GBA Castlevania trilogy here on Wordsmith VG!

Sink Your Teeth into Castlevania, Part I: Circle of the Moon

If we’re to believe typical Castlevania lore, Dracula is resurrected every hundred years or so. Sometimes, a foolish villager, a long lost relative, a dark priest, or an angry countess brings him back to life before the hundred years have passed, and one time, Dracula just got sick of waiting and resurrected himself. Whatever the case, when Drac is back on the prowl, it’s usually up to a descendent or friend of the legendary Belmont clan of vampire hunters to rise up and kick Dracula’s undead rear end using the mythical Vampire Killer whip.

Over the last decade, Konami gave the Gameboy Advance some love with three CV titles, each done in the “Metroidvania” style made popular by everybody’s favorite Castlevania classic of the late ‘90s, Symphony of the Night. With Castlevania’s latest outing, Lords of Shadow, mere days away, and before we all start playing games in 16 dimensions with Nintendo’s 3DS (which will almost inevitably give birth to a next-gen reimagining of the classic whip-toting series), and let’s take a bloody gander back at these portable ‘Vanias of the past.

Castlevania: Circle of the Moon was one of the first GameBoy Advance games and it remains one of the best. After being cut off from Master Baldwin though the trickery of that darn Dracula, young Nathan Graves is left alone in the D-man’s castle with nothing but the legendary Vampire Killer whip, a few acrobatic tricks and nerves of steel. That’s basically the whole story; there are a few ho-hum conversations between Nathan and Master Baldwin’s son, Hugh, but that’s about it. Also, Hugh gets a cool trench coat and your character doesn’t. Darn you to heck, Konami!

The backgrounds are detailed and interesting, but your character is rather small onscreen and normal enemies suffer the same problem. Bosses, however, are huge and intimidating, taking up an entire screen or more. In the same vein, the sound is phenomenal for a handheld game from the early 2000s. The music uses high quality samples and many tracks are remixes of old Castlevania themes; if you’ve been playing CV titles since the president was kidnapped by ninjas and subsequently saved by two bad dudes, the tunes will make the whip-crackin’ memories come flooding back to you. The sound effects are standard whipping and jumping noises; nothing special, but they get the job done.

Ol’ fangface is in trouble, because the controls are responsive and easy to master. There’s a jump button, an attack button, a magic button and a special attack button. The only problem is that you have to double-tap a direction to run, which quickly leads to a sore thumb.

Like many other games in the series, Dracula’s castle is huge, and as the player gains more abilities, you can see more and more of it. Gaining experience points allows your character to gradually grow stronger, and sometimes when you defeat certain enemies, you’ll receive a piece of armor, a special restorative item, or a magic card. Nearly a decade later, however, players are used to forgiving battle systems and in this game, it’s random: Sometimes the outcome of a fight will be determined by a piece of armor you may or may not have grabbed from some ugly skeleton.

Similarly, by combining two magic cards, you can cast a spell. If you’re unlucky, you might not have the cards you need to cast a critical spell. A shop somewhere within the walls of Dracula’s castle would have probably led to a few more people playing this one to completion. Also if the game sprayed vodka from the GBA speaker, but that would have dulled the experience ever so slightly.

Despite its flaws, Castlevania: Circle of the Moon is a great game. If you’ve still got a GBA or compatible DS lying around and you crave some bloody action on a budget, this is the title for you.

But wait! There’s two more Castlevanias for your portable pleasure! How do they stack up against Circle of the Moon? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! …er, Wordsmith VG!

Top Five: Video Game Soundtracks You Should Never Listen to While Driving

There are plenty of things you should never do while driving, like using a cell phone, drinking alcohol, shaving, reading the newspaper, eating sloppy joes and listening to political talk shows that are likely to give you road rage. But did you ever consider that the music you listen to in your car could affect your performance as a motorist? Judging by the charred wrecks littering my lawn and the unpaid tickets that taunt me everyday, the right tunes could mean the difference between driving like a kind, nice car champ and a blind, NASCAR chump. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and never hit the road while listening to the following game soundtracks. As my father is fond of telling me, the life you save may be your own. Or more importantly, mine.


Ridge Racer – PlayStation

There are plenty of racing titles I could have put here, but I chose Ridge Racer because every song in the game has been clinically proven to increase adrenaline, disable speed related inhibitions, and cause the listener to mash his or her right foot into the ground as hard as humanly possible. When played in your car stereo, the Ridge Racer soundtrack makes you feel as if your hair has burst into flames, but its okay because you know how to put it out: All you have to do is roll down all of your windows and break the sound barrier with that NASA surplus rocket engine you strapped to the roof of your car. Cops hate speeders, if you’ve got Ridge Racer in your CD player, chances are they’ll never catch up with you to give you the ticket.

Listen to "Rare Hero" from Ridge Racer
Listen to "Ridge Racer" from Ridge Racer


Mother 1 + 2 (Earthbound and Earthbound Zero) – GameBoy Advance

The original Mother game – known in some circles as “Earthbound Zero” – bore the tagline “No crying until the end.” This game and its sequel both live up to that promise, with endings that will make you ball up into the fetal position and weep like a jellyfish-stung baby while simultaneously smiling you rear off, just to spite yourself. Considering the emotional baggage these games heap upon the unsuspecting player, not even the surliest of pirates would be able to keep from bawling with the likes of “Eight Melodies” or Mother 2’s ending theme pouring from their speakers. It’s very, very difficult to explain to a police officer that you drove into the car in front of you because you couldn’t see though the tears. It’s even harder to explain that you were crying because a ragtag group of robot teens thwarted a demonic space alien by praying at it thousands of years ago in your living room.

Listen to "Eight Melodies" from Mother 1+2


Silent Hill series – Multi platform

Anyone who’s ever played a game in Konami’s Silent Hill franchise knows that it was designed to twist unsuspecting gamers into spastic madmen, no longer able to handle all but the most kid-friendly titles. Silent Hill was originally just a way for Konami to sell more copies of Dance Dance Revolution to traumatized players looking for reintegration into gaming society, but some people actually like writhing in psychological agony, so they ran with it.

All official Silent Hill soundtracks lull the listener into a false sense of security by putting an awesome rock or pop song first, then slowly moving into more atmospheric and creepy tracks. Before your know it, you’re listing to the sonic equivalent of 1,000 Satans tying you to a vomit-stained torture rack in an abandoned mental hospital and sawing off your limbs with rusty sporks and shards of broken funhouse mirrors, all while cramming flaming bat guano down your throat. The dangers of listening to a Silent Hill soundtrack while driving include an increased heart rate, intense feelings of paranoia, and wetting the rich, Corinthian leather of your driver’s seat. If you’re foolish enough to listen to Silent Hill tunes at night while on a lonely back road, there’s at least a 3000 percent chance that you’ll wind up crawling out of your overturned vehicle and bolting into the night, screaming like a child wearing underpants made of wasps.

Listen to "Until Death" from Silent Hill

Listen to "Angel's Scream" from Silent Hill: Shattered Memories


Superman 64 – Nintendo 64
 

Everyone knows that Superman 64 is an abomination unto the Lord and no one should ever play it. This includes the equally horrendous soundtrack. Listening to the tunes from Superman 64 in your car won’t cause you to drive at warp speed or crash into anything, but it will make for a pretty crappy ride to work. When given the option, listen to the news instead: It’s just as aggravating and depressing, but at least you’ll learn something other than the fact that Superman 64’s soundtrack converts disappointment into music at a one to one ratio.

Listen to some music from Superman 64


Mortal Kombat: The Album – Inspired by the arcade game

If you’ve never heard of this gem, then you wouldn’t know that someone through it would be great to convert the bestselling Mortal Kombat arcade game into a poorly received technopop jam fest. In addition to a song based on every MK1 character – except for mildly offensive Asian stereotype Shang Tsung and mysterious palette swap Reptile – there’s also two versions of the infamous Mortal Kombat theme song. So why shouldn’t you listen to this pseudo-game soundtrack while crusing for chicks (or dudes, whatever) in your sweet ride? One word: Kano.

When I purchased this album about 15 years ago, listening to Kano’s theme song, “Use Your Might,” inspired me to create my own Mortal Kombat spin-off game called “Kano’s Go-Kart.” Here’s how I envision the intro movie:

After loading up the game, the screen remains black. Out of nowhere, the player is aurally assaulted with “Use Your Might” from Mortal Kombat: The Album. There’s a series of jaw-shattering orchestra hits.

The garage door of his suburban home slowly slides open, revealing Kano with his hands on his hips, wearing his white MK1 uniform. To his left is a go-kart, a tiny, homemade vehicle with just enough space for an adult rider to sit in the seat and steer, albeit with his knees up his nose. The morning sun shines upon Kano and his marvelous machine.

MK1 Announcer: KANO WINS!

Kano hops into his go-kart, and with his knees in the air, speeds down his driveway at a blazing 13 miles per hour. The orchestra hits continue, accompanied by an aggressive drumbeat and a face-pounding bassline.

The wind whips over his half-metal face and through his hair. Kano speeds over the stop sign at the end of the street, reducing it to thousands of twisted metal shards. The deer that had been grazing in the nearby alcove gallop away in terror. Suddenly, Kano’s go-kart screeches to a stop. He gazes onto the unmolested expanse of a suburban Saturday morning.

A female singer, who is probably hot, chimes in: Use your might, Kano fight! The world is at your feet. Fight! Use your might! I’m on your side!

Kano cracks a feral smile and revs up his kart, blasting towards the now-endangered livelihoods of the unsuspecting residents. End intro video; cue title screen.

The object of Kano’s Go-Kart is to destroy as much of suburbia as you can. This includes running over dogs and rabbits, plowing through lawns and gardens, and chasing small children up the stairs of their homes before shredding all of their toys with your kart. There are three power ups: a spinning knife that increases your kart’s maximum speed from 13 to 16 miles per hour, a dragon icon that changes Kano into his MK3 uniform for a limited time, and a grain of rice hidden somewhere in the grass that awards the player a single point upon pickup.

If I listened to Mortal Kombat: The Album in my car, I’d be highly inspired go on a Kano-like rampage, destroying my neighbor’s light posts, mincing garden gnomes, and collecting mailboxes with my windshield. And now you would too, because I guarantee that after reading this article, you’ll think of nothing but Kano’s Go-Kart whenever you hear MK: The Album. I’m sorry that I just ruined any possibility of you ever listening to one of the best/worst video game based albums of all time while driving, but learning about Kano’s Go-Kart is a worthy tradeoff. Well, at least it was for me.

Listen to "Kano (Use Your Might)" from Mortal Kombat: The Album

Drive safely!