I’ll post the final volume of The Learning Game tomorrow, when these hoodlums decide that school is where it’s at. For now I wouldn’t feel right talking about education when so many of our youths are blatantly ignoring it. But fear not; sweet, sweet content is just a scroll away. As I’ve know since I was a small, annoying child, Super Mario fixes everything!
OR DOES HE!?
The Other Side of the Flagpole
You think it’s fun to stomp on our heads. You think it’s fun to kick us around. You think it’s fun to steal our coins, eat our mushrooms and pull up our flowers. Well you know what? I think you’re all SICK. Did you ever stop to think how we feel? Can’t any of you people think for yourselves?
|By Silent KV|
“Mommy, why hasn’t Papa Goomba been home for the past three weeks?”
“I’m sorry, son, but your father isn’t in another castle like I’ve been telling you. He’s… dead!”
“Yes son! It’s true! He was – oh, I can barely say it! – he was stomped to death by Super Mario! And then that evil man robbed your father’s flat corpse of all 100 of his points!”
But then one day, a fat, sinister shadow befell the land. The man in red had arrived. We were helpless against his futuristic technologies; we had never seen a creature that large move with such agility. For example, if he’s walking, he can stop and go in the opposite direction without having to bump into a pipe first! And he can go faster than just walking; he can run! How could we even begin to compete with advanced military strategies like that?
|It'sa me, MURDER-O|
So I beg of you all; please stop assisting this man’s heinous crimes! He’s brainwashed you all into thinking that we’re somehow bad, and yet, what proof has he ever given you? When, besides the few times our fearless King Koopa has escaped from the Princess’ evil grasp, have any of us attacked you? Well, besides the Hammer Brothers; I guess sometimes they get a little careless with their tools.
We all just want to go back to our normal lives! We want to be able to walk aimlessly again, and pop in and out of pipes without fear! Please, I implore you! Don’t let the man in red seduce you to a life of crime!
Why can we all just be goombas?