Sunday, November 21, 2010

Earthbound Scrapbook Entry #11: Tombs of the Ancients (GPP11)

“This must be the place,” said the boy in the red cap.

“Yes, boy! It’s the place of your SHOCKING demise!” I thought.

We had protected this cave for thousands of years, protected it from the unworthy, the unwashed thieves who might come to dishonor us. Up until then, no one had been able to conquer the rabid, deadly bunny statues, but these… these CHILDREN found a way through! Perhaps they were worthy of the treasures of the Pink Cloud… or perhaps they were simply lucky!

“We will see how lucky they remain!” I thought.

“I can sense a great evil here,” said the Dalaamese boy.

I watched them from the shadows.

“Judging by his garb, this boy is trained in the Mu arts. Perhaps… perhaps they really ARE the ones we have been waiting for. We shall see!”

I snuck behind the children, waiting for the best time to strike.

“Evil? Do you mean Giygas’s toadies?” asked the female.

Giygas? Ha! That windbag attempted to woo us to his aid, but never shall the inhabitants of the Pink Cloud Cave be swayed to action by anyone! Our eternal duty was to protect the treasure of the Pink Cloud, keeping it safe for the Chosen Ones when they came to collect it for their important journey.

“Wait… it is not exactly evil,” said the Mu artist. “But it does not want us to access the sanctuary if we are not truly worthy.”

I respected this Mu artist and his friends; their attitude was indeed worthy of our great treasures.

“But their strength must match!” I thought.

They climbed the nearby rope and the Mu artist respectfully did not attempt to look up the dress of the sassy female.

“He is saintly indeed; he should prove to be an excellent adversary,” I thought.

At the top, I watched as the four destroyed my Tangoo brothers with ease. They entered the first hole leading to Master Thunder and Master Storm. Now was the time to strike!

“It’s a Thundermite!” exclaimed the boy in the strange suit. “A normal attack should suffice.”

The boy in the red hat hit me with his strange weapon and the Mu master chanted an ancient ice spell! I was damaged, but it was my turn to strike back! The moment for which I had waited countless decades was finally at hand! I shot out two blasts of lighting and …AHHH! The first missed! But the second flew directly at the female! I was about to DESTROY the unworthy intruder! I… WHAT!? The lightning was coming back at me!

My own attack struck ME. I felt my life energy wavering.

“These four children… they are the… CHOSEN ONES!” I said.

With the last of my energy, I decided to follow these miraculous mercenaries though the cave to gauge their progress. It was… very difficult to watch them defeat Master Thunder and Master Storm, but at least we knew that these children were indeed the Chosen Ones. Our treasure, then, rightly belonged to them.

They reveled in the glory of the Pink Cloud.

*   *   *

As we exited the cave, I was so stealthy that the Chosen Ones had no idea that I was watching their progress!

“That Thundermite is totally following us, dude,” said the red capped one.

“I know,” replied the one in the suit. “Just humor him.”

ENTIRELY unnoticed was I!

“Well, Thundermite or not, we need to get to Scaraba,” said the female.

“Leave that to me,” said the Mu artist. Without warning, he ran so quickly in a circle that I was sucked into his vortex! Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by sand and sun! What kind of a place is this!?

“Okay, now to find a sailor willing to take us to Scaraba!” said the boy in the suit.

“I have a good idea who to ask,” replied the red capped boy.

They headed towards a place full of boats.

*   *   *

“Yarr, I be over me seasickness now,” said the man with the beard.

Though the four Chosen Ones seemed to trust him, I thought this captain was worthy of a MUTINY! But before I could come out of hiding to suggest that scenario, something shook the ship until it nearly tipped over!

A massive Kraken had discovered us and was ready to destroy everyone!

“I think we’re going to need a bigger boat,” said the red capped one.

With a speed I’d never before witnessed, the Kraken grabbed the Mu master in its horrible mouth and shook him like a DOG would shake a SMALL ANIMAL. Second later, his broken body slammed back on the deck of the ship.

While the beast was distracted by mauling his friend, the boy in the suit had fashioned sort of projectile weapon out of a toothbrush, a metal can and the bubble gum he had been chewing.

“This is for Poo!” he exclaimed.

The creature reeled from the blast. It swung its tail mightily, barely missing the boy in the red hat. The female chanted a strong ice spell and the red capped boy attacked with his strange weapon, but the creature continued its assault.

“Take this, ya salty seadog!” yelled the captain. With a mighty “Yarr!” he threw his slippers at the beast!

The Kraken still drew breath, even after that incredible assault! One slipper still stuck to its massive maw, it summoned LIGHTNING from the sky! The bolt raced towards the female.

She smiled.

In a flash, the energy had been deflected off of her and back at the monster! It took but the SINGLE BLAST to destroy the infamous creature!

The Kraken sunk back into the sea. Without fanfare, we pushed ahead towards Scaraba.

*   *   *

"I can see the Scarabian shoreline!" yelled the Mu master. It was a truly AWESOME sight.

A few minutes later we had disembarked. A strange new world of sand and secrets spread out before us.

"I have a feeling that we need to be very careful," said the female.

*   *   *

It had been hours since we landed in Scaraba and the Chosen Ones had set out to find the ancient Scarabian pyramid of legend. With much sand building in their shoes and nothing to show for it, I was beginning to fear that the pyramid… did not exist.

Then the silence was broken: “Do you remember Super Mario Bros. 3?” asked the boy in the suit. “The pyramid there was HORRENDOUS. I lost more than 15 lives the first time I attempted it. Also, can you recall the pyramid in Final Fantasy V? I was trapped in THAT one for days on end with approximately 3 MP and maybe, MAYBE two healing items! And don’t get me started on the pyramid from Dragon Quest III!”

“So what’s your point?” asked the red-capped boy.

“My personal studies all point to the fact that that if we enter the ancient Scarabian pyramid, there is a 98.96 percent chance that we are going to DIE,” he replied, “as well as a 99.976 percent chance that our deaths will be horribly uncomfortable.”

“But this isn’t some video game, Jeff,” said the female. “This is real.”

“Wait, look!” yelled the red capped boy. “Up ahead!”

I believe we all saw it at the same time: The Scarabian pyramid of legend! Still entirely undetected, I followed the Chosen Ones to the wondrous structure.

“How do we get in?” asked the female. “Hey, you’re pretty ancient and stuff. Have you got any ideas, Thundermite?”

GHA! A mere guess! She could not have seen me following all this time! Before I could reply, the Mu master said: “According to what we learned at the Fourside museum, we must dance in front of the sphinx. Just like this.”

The door to the ancient pyramid slid open slowly. For a moment, each of us simply stared at the entrance. Then:

“Let’s go,” said the red capped one.

I watched them enter, still entranced by the pure MAJESTY of it all! How I would be honored to protect a place like this from intruders!

In my awe, I didn’t notice the door slamming shut until it was too late! I was trapped outside! From beyond the ancient walls, all I could hear was screaming and the sounds of combat.

I decided to cross the body of water in front of me and wait at the pyramid’s exit. There was not much else I could do…

*   *   *

Much time had passed since the Chosen Ones had entered the tomb. I was beginning to think that…

Suddenly, the exit door slid open! The Chosen Ones were injured, but alive! I raced into the pyramid; I was not going to miss my chance to see the interior a second time!

Just then, the door slid shut once more! I was trapped!

I examined my surroundings.

“Well… perhaps this isn’t a bad thing. It must be my destiny to protect the treasures of THIS scared place now, instead of Pink Cloud… or else, why would I have been so compelled to follow the Chosen Ones here?”

I wished good tidings to the Chosen Ones, wherever their next adventure took them… and then I began waiting to test the next set of Chosen Ones, how ever many thousands of years it will take for them to arrive.

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