Friday, June 3, 2011

PlayStation Store Welcomes Back the Easily Pleased

Sony says it’s sorry that a bunch of hackin’ hooligans stole my personal information (and 101.9999 million other people’s too) about two months ago, so they’re letting me play Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for free! That’s right; 1991’s badest dude with a ‘tude is back and radder than ever in the much anticipated sequel to the SMASH HIT Sega Genesis game!

I am So EXCITED that the true power of the PlayStation 3 will finally be properly unleashed to play this 16-bit gem and I can assure you that I will be comparing the PSN title’s performance to that of the original Genesis cart, the Saturn Sonic Jam disc, the Sonic Mega Collection for Xbox, PS2 and Gamecube, The Genesis Collection for PS2 and Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for the Xbox 360 and PS3. This is very much worth having my credit card possibly compromised and ultimately canceled due to my own paranoia. I’m sure that my ninth copy of Sonic 2, not including the emulated ones I have on my PC, Nintendo DS and PlayStation 2, will be just as fun as the first. I just won’t be able to access the sound test or enter any cheats this time, because the game is set to automatically bypass that stuff this time around. Yaay!

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 times eight.

I really do enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog 2, but I somehow feel that this and the other shrugworthy games available as part of Sony’s much advertised “Welcome Back!” program are simply not enough to effectively cajole customers into once again suckling complacently from Sony’s blackened teat. As it turns out, the non-PlayStation Plus titles available under the program are all dated. For example, free Little Big Planet is nice, but I could also get the disc-based original with a case and manual for a small but passionate ass-based dance at my local GameStop. I already own and have defeated Infamous, and I’ve never even heard of Dead Nation, but I chose it as my second free game because the others were just as unappealing as the PlayStation Plus content. Oh, and apparently, the PS Plus content will only be available to users for 30 days (or until your subscription to the service ends), so you’d better get playing.

If all this wasn’t disappointing enough, I’m having problems accessing the PlayStation Store. More than once tonight, I’ve received a message that the title I’m trying to download is unavailable because the store is “undergoing maintenance.” Maybe the disturbance is due to so many people logging on at once. Oh well; at least I didn’t lose my second free game, as reported by Mark Hachman of PC Magazine.

In the interest of fairness, it’s full disclosure time: Though I at one point said that I was going to leave the PS3 alone, I - like my comrade Evan Ritchie - cannot find it in myself to stay away from the company that gave me gaming gold like the Tekken series, Metal Gear Solid and a controller that doesn’t suck for fighting games. I’m really not the guy Sony has to impress. But the gaming fate of millions of others hangs in the balance, and I’m not sure this ho-hum peace offering is enough to keep them around.

Sony, you have been warned.

Oh, and for the record: While the “attract mode” demo was playing on my new PSN copy of Sonic 2, for just a second, I felt the same twinge of excitement I used to get in fourth grade when I loaded up the game. Perhaps this Welcome Back program really has given me something worth my trouble after all.

Yeah, not really.


  1. Amen, brother.

    I missed out on inFAMOUS the first time around, so I'm glad to get in on it, especially in light of the fact that #2 is out soon. I'm also really enjoying WipeOut HD + Fury. Dead Nation has received much positive attention, but I'm always on the lookout for games which may hold appeal for the missus. She was super disappointed that her housemate was watching a movie last night, cos she'd pumped herself up for some Clash of Heroes.

    I'm glad we get to keep anything purchased with a PS+ discount, and the two free games are ours to keep.

    I'm most grateful for bringing My Love back to consoles. For the longest time, it was PC tower defence or puzzlers, or it was nothing.

    Now she insists we need a Kinect on our wedding registry!

    And PlayStation has been that link.

    And *that's* where I find forgiveness for my big, black box.

  2. Also, in response to the tag on your first pic: Chlamydia?

  3. Nah, that "you can't catch what you can't see" thing is a line from the (oft-instrumental) theme song of a show called The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. There was this one episode where a country singer showed up and started singing words to the theme song that no one had ever heard before.

    Did they air that show over in your neck of the woods, or were you spared the slapstick horror?

    I would have responded sooner, but I just spent about 45 minutes looking for a youtube link of the song and... I found nothing. Hmm.

  4. No, I was joking :).

    You can't catch what you can't see? Oh, yeah? What about chlamydia?

    That was the joke.

    Where is your neck of the woods? Mine's Bendigo, Victoria, Australia.

    I don't think I've seen that...

  5. And MY joke was stepping on YOUR joke. It's meta-humor or something!

    I live in a little place called New York. Just go up from Australia; you'll eventually find it. If you hit Canada, you've gone too far (but you're probably a bit safer).