With Osama Bin Laden finally taking a dirt nap thanks to a U.S. attack on his compound, I can finally turn my attention to the other thing I’ve been waiting on for nearly a decade: a new Mortal Kombat title worth playing.
|Ads in the '90s were... wierd.|
Then they added Superman as a joke during a lunch break one day and everyone took it seriously.
With the ninth entry in the series, known simply as Mortal Kombat, released the day before Sony handed out millions of customers’ personal information to a cyber trick-or-treater (April 19), it seems that I might get my wish for a fun new MK title. I haven’t had a chance to play MK9, but based on the intelligence gathered by the U.S. governments’ Gaming Information and Defense Department, it looks promising. However, I decided a long time ago that I would withhold my excitement until the world’s top scientists – the ones in the whitest lab coats – answer a single question: Is the new Mortal Kombat title indeed da hypest game, or has series co-creator Ed Boon made a
According to a peer-reviewed Youtube video by a scholarly gentleman named gmcfosho, Mortal Kombat is indeed da hypest game. Gmcfosho, a celebrated lab technician and intellectual hero, used math, beakers, pipettes and whatever occult magic scientists envoke to determine the hype levels in MK9, and lab results prove that it is, in fact, da hypest game.
“I don’t even know how to play this game,” he said, “but it’s hype.”
After attacking Mileena, a horrific alien disguised as an ordinary Earth-skank, with Johnny Cage’s “nut punch,” gmcfosho proclaimed, “Ohh! I punched her in… in the gonads! That’s what girls got.”
He added later, “Mortal Kombat! Everything! Uppercuts!”
I urge you all, in the name of education, to watch Mr. gmcfosho’s enlightening film. His dedication to finding the truth through the scientific method is nothing short of inspiring.
TEST YO' MIIIIGHT!