If You Give a Gamer a Camera, Part II

...he'll ask to make more gamer movies.

Pow!

As you may or may not remember from this post I made a while back, when I wasn't frantically writing papers in one night or watching my love live crumble into tiny, possibly tasty pieces, my undergraduate days were filled with jogging about holding a borrowed $5000 video camera in my sweaty hands and editing together comical but slightly disturbing student films for a variety of (mostly evil) applications. I took the opportunity to make as many allusions to gaming culture as I could in my work, on the dim hope that someone in the masses who appreciated Nintendo, Sega and the like as much as I do would take notice, and chuckle knowingly to him- or herself.

The following videos are possibly my greatest contribution to society thus far, a truth that would be merely shrug-worthy were it not for the horrifying fact that they're more than six years old. Also, my Ultra Omnisphere 3000 movie, circa 2001, was probably funnier.


Misprint! - A Reporter's Tale
Starring Matt Frey, Sarah Shepherd, Kristy Wormann, Kara Boivin, Shannon Morris and Dave Kotchie/Dave Frey as The Ninja. Featuring the musical stylings of Sandy Devasia and Jessica Jagielski.


As a Media Studies major, I had to come up with some kind of huge, year-long final project in order to receive a small piece of paper stating that I didn't have to go to class anymore. It was akin to the fabled "thesis" students of some majors are forced to write, only my project was allowed to have ninjas. So I wrote a novella (available online here), crunched it down into a gamer-friendly script, and filmed this bad boy in time to walk at my own graduation.

Featuring lovingly crafted allusions to the Silent Hill series, Super Mario Bros., Fatal Fury, Street Fighter II, Duke Nukem 3D, Metal Gear Solid, Sonic the Hedgehog, the Final Fantasy series and more, Misprint! - A Reporter's Tale is sure to make you feel at least slightly uncomfortable. Also, I somehow forgot Earthbound though, and it makes me sad to this day.

Trailer:



The Feature Film:



Out Takes:

Experts Debate: Is Mortal Kombat Da Hypest Game?

With Osama Bin Laden finally taking a dirt nap thanks to a U.S. attack on his compound, I can finally turn my attention to the other thing I’ve been waiting on for nearly a decade: a new Mortal Kombat title worth playing.

Ads in the '90s were... wierd.

The evolution of the series has been rocky to say the least. Though the original arcade game caused quite a stir among players who had mastered Street Fighter II and craved something new and unique, many of the home conversations of the title didn’t fare well. For example, the Super NES version of Mortal Kombat cut out much of the violence that made the arcade game a hit. Also, like much of the software for Sega’s ill-fated CD console, MKCD got a lot of bad press. From what the reviewers at the time said, the game was some sort of hellish abomination that, when not in use, flew from the Sega CD and stalked the elderly, decapitating them in their sleep and stealing their medications to sell to small children as candy. A few years later when everyone though the MK formula was dead, parent company Midway killed it again with a decent but unsatisfying combat system that would carry the ailing franchise through the rest of the PlayStation 2/X-Box era.

Then they added Superman as a joke during a lunch break one day and everyone took it seriously.

Pow! Biff!

With the ninth entry in the series, known simply as Mortal Kombat, released the day before Sony handed out millions of customers’ personal information to a cyber trick-or-treater (April 19), it seems that I might get my wish for a fun new MK title. I haven’t had a chance to play MK9, but based on the intelligence gathered by the U.S. governments’ Gaming Information and Defense Department, it looks promising. However, I decided a long time ago that I would withhold my excitement until the world’s top scientists – the ones in the whitest lab coats – answer a single question: Is the new Mortal Kombat title indeed da hypest game, or has series co-creator Ed Boon made a FATALITY fatal error for a fourth time in a row?

According to a peer-reviewed Youtube video by a scholarly gentleman named gmcfosho, Mortal Kombat is indeed da hypest game. Gmcfosho, a celebrated lab technician and intellectual hero, used math, beakers, pipettes and whatever occult magic scientists envoke to determine the hype levels in MK9, and lab results prove that it is, in fact, da hypest game.

“I don’t even know how to play this game,” he said, “but it’s hype.”

After attacking Mileena, a horrific alien disguised as an ordinary Earth-skank, with Johnny Cage’s “nut punch,” gmcfosho proclaimed, “Ohh! I punched her in… in the gonads! That’s what girls got.”

He added later, “Mortal Kombat! Everything! Uppercuts!”

I urge you all, in the name of education, to watch Mr. gmcfosho’s enlightening film. His dedication to finding the truth through the scientific method is nothing short of inspiring.



TEST YO' MIIIIGHT!

Street Fighter The Movie: The Game: A Reflection: Too Many Colons

Raul Julia in his final role.

For a lot of us, it took last year's silver screen stinker Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li to make us realize just how good we had it with the 1994 Van Damme vehicle, Street Fighter: The Movie. People like me, however, saw the quirky charm of lovable Adams Family frontman Raul Julia taking on the role of M. Bison - a character who really  puts the "dick" in dictator - and the theater-shattering, Godzilla-like battle between SF titans Zangief and E. Honda. No one is quite sure why military man Guile was the star of the show instead of Ryu, or for that matter, why the blond bomber who was born in the USA like Bruce Springsteen had a thick Austrian accent. Regardless, SF: The Movie was a silly popcorn flick packed with cheap laughs and high-flying kicks, and even though it distorted the Street Fighter mythos, it didn't shatter it into five million crappy pieces like The Legend of Chun-Li did.

Though Street Fighter: The Movie enjoys a bit of a cult following (as evidenced by it recently appearing on Blu-Ray), the PlayStation and Saturn versions of the game based on the film have slightly fewer fans. Okay, it's basically only me, and my fandom is one third nostalgia and one third love of all things Street Fighter; the rest is probably just stupidity.

HADOKEN!

In 1995, my childhood friend Tom (the same chap who would soon introduce me to the wonderful, brazenly vulgar world of Duke Nukem 3D) called me out of the blue to tell me that he had just come home from Blockbuster Video with a rented PlayStation and two games: ESPN Extreme Games and Street Fighter: The Movie. Along with a third friend, Ryan, we tore into those two games all night. After endless Street Fighter II upgrades, with its totally new graphics and sounds and even a new character, SF: The Movie was a breath of fresh air the likes of which I was desperate for that point.

Chun-Li rules, even in this movie.

I had to have a PlayStation of my own. For Christmas that year, mom dropped a ridiculous 300 bones on a generation one PSX that would, two years later, go bust. The first two games I got were, predictably, ESPN Extreme Games and Street Fighter: The Movie. Were it not for Tom and Street Fighter the Movie, I might not have gotten on the PlayStation train when I did; and I wouldn't have been introduced to staple series like Tekken, Ridge Racer, Metal Gear Solid, Street Fighter Alpha, Darkstakers and more.

I was going to tell you that in Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game the music doesn't really fit the action, the controls are horrendous and that the characters look and sound like stunt doubles of the ones seen in the film, but instead I'm going to suggest that you pick up Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game if you see it at a used a game shop. Regardless of the shortcomings of this title, it offered something that was unique and fresh at the time it was released. Of the first generation PlayStation titles, this one holds up much better than many of them, including the original Battle Arena Toshinden or even the aforementioned ESPN Extreme Games.

So do me a favor: Sit down, pick Guile, and kick Bison's ass so hard that the next Bison wannabe is going to feel it! Now who wants to go home, and who wants to go with me?

You know you were cheering here; just admit it.

Back to School Week: The Learning Game Vol. 1

Welcome back, suckaz!

If you're an American between the ages of five and 17 years old, I'm sorry. About 95 percent of you either went back to school last week or you'll be frantically buying a new wardrobe today or tomorrow and marching back into a classroom sometime in the next 72 hours. I feel your pain; I'm a certified English Language Arts teacher and if the economy hadn’t taken a headshot or 17 recently, I'd probably be captain of my first classroom right now instead of selling computers at Best Buy.

No more Thrill Kill!?

Your parents probably told you that you can’t play as many video games during the school year as you did during the scorcher days of the summer, which is a total bummer. And for you old people out there like me, just imagine how it would feel if someone told YOU that you can’t play Street Fighter every night! ...wait, that's called college. So to anyone lamenting the loss of their gaming hours, keep your chin up high and take note: There are people out there who think gaming holds an important place on the classroom.

One of them is me.

Last year I created a blog called “The Learning Game” as part of a grad school class. The blog focused on how video games could be intertwined with education to form something that the student AND the teacher could get excited about. In honor of students everywhere going back to school, I’ve imported and enhanced the The Learning Game to Wordsmith VG in its entirety. Think of it as the difference between the original Metroid on the NES and the Metroid: Zero Mission remake on the Gameboy Advance, only this time instead of stupid alien space pirates taking over some alien planet, it’s all gravy. Besides, you’re getting two posts a day, which is more than 1.99 times more words for you to read (or ignore)!

Pull up a chair and get ready to learn something from, class.

He's FROM SPACE, dude.

The Value of Gaming in Education

Examine the possibility of video games making the move from entertainment to educational. It's still far off, but the idea is much more feasable than it was 10 years ago.

Just a tad different from the book.

Les Misérables: The Fighting Game

You know, every classic novel should be converted into a fighting game.  This one is more entertaining than a garbage truck full of angry Frenchmen!


Extra Credit Bonus Link: It’s Itoi’s Word, Charlie Brown!

If you’ve got some time to spare after class, take a gander at this essay comparing the world of Shigasato Itoi’s Famicom (NES) classic MOTHER 1 to the endeavors of Charles Shultz’s Peanuts characters. There’s more than meets the eye going on here in this progressively poingent essay. It was the first post here on Wordsmith VG, so if you missed it, now's your chance to get a little more studying in!

I made the MOTHER series! LOVE ME.

Tales from the Krypt: MK Deadly Alliance

Worst. Headache. Ever.

I never want to play Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance again.

It’s not the moderately outdated fighting mechanics, the unexplainably chunky blood splatters or even the bowel-stimulatingly dumb fatalities like Quan Chi’s “Neck Stretch” that have me wanting to lob this game at the nearest handicapable youngster. No, it was my own obsessive-compulsive nature that rammed that last nail through my heart and into my koffin.

The three PlayStation 2 era Mortal Kombat titles – Deadly Alliance, Deception and Armageddon – share a similar way of awarding extras: The Krypt. The Krypt holds literally hundreds of unlockables, with kontent ranging from new characters and battlegrounds to the gaming equivalent of those asbestos-lined gumball machine prizes you used to beg your mother for as she checked out at Shoprite. Using the kurrency he or she earns in battle, it’s up to the player to purchase as much krap as possible. It’s sort of like Pokémon and its “Gotta Catch ‘em All!” tagline, only what you’re catching are shattered bone fragments and pieces of Kano’s shameful spleen.

Worst. Fatality. Ever.

Sensing that the Mortal Kombat database in my head needed updating when I didn’t recognize about 25 characters from the lazy-yet-brilliant hodgepodge that is MK: Armageddon, I chopped a bloody trail through MK4, MK: Deadly Alliance and MK: Deception until I had thoroughly explored all three titles. I cleaned out all the koffins Deception’s Krypt, but of the 626 koffins in Deadly Alliance, I only opened about 400.

Those 400 koffins didn’t come easy: For days all I did was earn kurrency for the Krypt or try to dream up ways to get more. My friends started disowning me, I almost got fired from my journalism gig and Saint Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of missing persons and lost things, called my cell phone and threatened to have me excommunicated if I didn’t put down the controller. So one day I told the game that I was taking it out to clean it, then before I lost my nerve, I shoved it back in the case and left it on my shelf. For awhile I was free of the kall of the Krypt.

Worst. Caption. Ever.

Kut to about three weeks ago when my hard-hittin’, girlfriend-ranglin’, N-Sync lovin’ cousin came over and we started kombatting it up with MK1, MK2 and UMK3. All it took was a little Southern Comfort and his innocent suggestion that we play Deadly Alliance to set me off again, but worse this time. It was like quitting smoking only to take up licking tar directly off the sun-baked road.

I must have slogged through Deadly Alliance’s single player mode at least 20 times over the course of the next week before going through the ultra boring Konquest mode again. Then I started making dummy profiles with names like “Strawman” and (at the suggestion of my cousin) “Asshats,” kopping some easy koins, then fighting endless two-player battles with myself to “win” all the currency on my real profile. My cousin walked in at one point while I was sleeping, but I still had the controller in my hands and was attempting to do Sub-Zero’s fatality mid-round.

“This is sad,” he said.

“Mumble, mumble Kano wins,” I am told I replied.

With most addictions, it’s up to the afflicted individual to realize that he or she is stronger than their habit and consciously push it away in the name of a better life. My MK:DA Krypt addiction came to an end when I opened that last Godforsaken tomb one morning as the sun was just peeking through the clouds and over the horizon. The camera twisted around to a side view, as it always does, and the lid slammed down on the floor. An evil laugh reverberated in the chamber. Through the dust these words appeared on my screen:

EMPTY KOFFIN.

I know there’s a metaphor here, but I kan’t quite put my finger on it.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Brutal Unleashed: Above the Claw is Below the Standard

What happens when programmers attempt to upgrade a mediocre fighting game and re-release it on a new system? Well, besides a terribly cliché lead sentence, you’re likely to get something along the lines of Brutal: Above the Claw for the 32X, Gametek’s final attempt to cash in on the one-on-one craze of the ‘90s with their furry fighting franchise.

The core gameplay hasn’t changed from the previous titles. Players still take control of a fuzzy fighter and battle their way to the Dali Llama, Kendo Coyote is still slower than grandpa wearing cement undershorts and Foxy Roxy is still hot in the kind of way that makes you ashamed you noticed. What’s so frustrating here is that Gametek had the chance to make the 32X version of Brutal a great game by fixing the imperfections of the previous ports and expanding on the best features. Instead they gave us two useless new characters. In fact, little else has been added to this “upgrade,” which turns out to be Above the Claw’s most fundamental flaw.

On the plus side, the graphics are better than ever. The characters are animated well, and they’re a joy to watch in battle and the lush, detailed environments help add some much-needed flair to the experience. However, many locales are missing some of the clever touches found in the original Brutal game, Paws of Fury. Take, for example, Leon the lion’s old bridge stage, where players can fall off the edge mid-battle if they aren’t careful. For some reason, this and other fun details were removed from Above the Claw. Also, the music that was such a draw for the Sega CD game has been ill-treated to say the least. The new jams have still got that Brutal-ish jungle beat, but there are only three or four tracks in the entire game. Each lasts approximately six seconds and is looped indefinitely, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself reaching for the mute button on your TV set a few minutes after plugging in the game.

The sounds don’t fare much better. All the characters make the same yelps and “hy-yahs,” leading to a very generic aural experience. In another small but annoying omission, Leon no longer plays his guitar riff during his Power Chord attack, killing the move’s humor.

Also gone is the pensive, meditative atmosphere of the PC and Sega CD offerings. The Sega CD version in particular feels like the player has been sucked into a martial arts film, with engrossing story screens detailing what vanquished fighters do after being disqualified from the tournament, philosophical jargon about the true nature of the warrior and a nifty intro sequence to pump you up before game time. This is not the case on the 32X cart, which plays like a watered-down arcade game. The polished presentation of the Sega CD title keeps players interested and helps them forgive the slightly dull fighting sequences in favor of the “feel” of the game. Without the awesome ambiance of the CD version, there’s nothing left to distract you from the tedious gameplay. The two new characters, a bite-sized cat in boxer shorts named Psycho Kitty and possibly the lamest dragon ever, Chung Poe, do little to remedy the situation.

There are six different attack buttons – three kicks and three punches – but they often produce the same punch or kick animation, just faster or slower depending on the strength of the button pressed. There’s little reason to use anything but the most damaging attacks, making the Street Fighter style controller layout unnecessary.

The special move system only adds to the problem. Like in many real martial arts, your character starts out as a white belt. As he wins battles, he’s rewarded with special attacks. Why, then, is it almost as difficult for a lowly yellow belt to defeat the Dali Llama as it is for a black belt? Because the special moves the player acquires are almost always useless. Often, these silly maneuvers send your character careening across the screen, recklessly swinging his or her fists. All your opponent has to do to put a stop to the onslaught is jump over you, turn around, and kick you in the face. I suppose special moves that aid your opponent are a pretty innovative idea, but in practice, they’re far from fun.

As far as the two player mode goes, there’s not much too it. With only 12 selectable characters (and seven that are any good), the two player battles don’t stay fresh for long. As a sort of counter to this, the programmers added Island Conquest, a board-game like mode that has both players battling for the supremacy of Brutal Island. It’s a nice addition, but ultimately, it isn’t much different than the standard versus mode.

Despite its problems though, some fun can be had with Brutal: Above the Claw, if only because the concept of anthromorphs beating the tar out of each other is undeniably cool. But the fun quickly wears off, and players are left with a shallow, button masher’s dream of a game. If you were hardcore (or crazy) enough to get a 32X, there’s a good chance you own a Sega CD unit as well. If this is the case, do yourself a favor and seek a copy of the superior Brutal CD; it’s defiantly a cut above the others. Regardless, Brutal: Above the Claw is more entertaining than the Genesis and SNES ports, and is a fine game to fill an afternoon, but that’s about it. If you see it for a few bucks, pick it up and daydream about the awesome game it could have been.

Les Misérables: The Fighting Game

If you ever wanted to beat up one of the characters from Les Misérables, here’s your chance.


Arm Joe, created by an amateur programmer from Japan, is a one-on-one fighting game in the same vein as Street Fighter II and King of Fighters. Based on the Les Misérables musical, the game features anime style representations of Les Mis characters like Jean Valjean, Enjolras, Marius, Cosette, Éponine, Thénardier and Javert. The physical embodiment of judgment serves as the game’s final boss.

In case you’re wondering, the name Arm Joe is a parody of the play’s Japanese title, Ah Mojou, meaning “Ah, cruelty.”

As someone who has daydreamed about a one-on-one fighting game adaptation of Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle and a first person, 3D version of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, there’s a certain amount of satisfaction in just knowing that Arm Joe exists. However, the game itself has some control and balance issues: Some characters are hopelessly underpowered and others can easily win matches using a single attack over and over again. The graphics and sound are excellent, though, and overall it’s a pretty decent game. Given the fact that Arm Joe is a free download, it seems a little inappropriate to criticize it too harshly.

Arm Joe brings the characters of Les Misérables to life in a way that’s virtually impossible in any other medium. Introducing students to Arm Joe might just be the key to getting some of them interested in the novel or the musical, or it could be used as a sort of enrichment exercise after finishing Les Misérables in class.

Purists might complain that this game isn’t a faithful adaptation of the Les Misérables novel or musical – and they would be correct. Just consider Robojean, the cyborg version of Valjean who fires rockets at his opponents, and Ponpon, a bunny creature who has nothing to do with the Les Mis mythos who is inexplicably tossed in with the rest of the characters. However, a creative teacher might take the opportunity to discuss the differences and similarities between the works, as well as talking about how ideas, stories and sensibilities change as they move to new kinds of media. After all, there are some key alterations between the stage version of Les Misérables and Victor Hugo’s original novel, so changes in new adaptations of the story are to be expected.

Teachers might also use Arm Joe to help explain the concept of parody to their students, given the humorous aspects of the game in contrast to the seriousness of the musical and novel.

I hope that more game makers, both independent and commercial, will use classic novels as inspiration for future video games. Faithful game adaptations of the classics might be one of the stepping stones in using gaming to educate our students.

Download Arm Joe.

'Eternal Champions' CD: A Bloody Masterpiece

A lot of gamers think that Mortal Kombat, or one of its many sequels, was the bloodiest video game of the early and mid ‘90s. Sega CD owners, however, know better.

Eternal Champions: Challenge from the Dark Side, perhaps the most blood-soaked video game ever to grace a Sega console, is a drastic improvement over the original Genesis cart in virtually every way. Solid controls, dark, foreboding visuals, a rockin' soundtrack and yes, gallons of the red stuff makes the sequel to Eternal Champions not only the best fighting game on the Sega CD, but one of the greatest fighting games of the post Street Fighter II era. A large, genuinely interesting cast of characters comes together in one of the most absorbing storylines ever to grace the genre. The gameplay is deep and the player is rewarded for strategy, so button mashers need not apply.

Challenge from the Dark Side is also crammed full of extras, from hidden backgrounds and more than a dozen secret combatants to insane combos and devilishly clever finishing moves that often turn dying into an art form. The ever-present danger of a sudden, flesh-rending death while in mid-battle pumps up the element of danger, and the fear of being torn to shreds by the very background in which you fight is reason enough to win the match or die trying.

This is one of the best, most challenging, and most engrossing titles I've ever played. I loved it when it came out more than a decade ago, and I'm still caught in its mighty, blood-soaked grip to this day. Seriously, how cool is it to lay the smackdown on a futuristic cyborg kick boxer with a film-noir style, trench coat wearing ex-cat burglar from the '20s, then, seconds later, battle a Neanderthal as pterodactyls zoom around behind you? I have to hold back tears of gaming bliss just thinking about it!

Stellar gameplay and a host of other reasons that keep you playing way, WAY past your bedtime make Eternal Champions: Challenge from the Dark Side a must own for anyone who has a Sega CD unit. Just do yourself a favor and don't get too attached to the cast.

Mortal Mediocrity: MK1 on Sega CD

It's bigger... than the Genesis cartridge.

While Midway Games was programming the Sega CD version of the arcade powerhouse Mortal Kombat, the publisher, Acclaim, promised the result would be "bigger, better, louder and meaner" than any of the other home versions available. What they finally heaped on violence-starved customers was essentially the old Genesis/Mega Drive version with a CD-quality soundtrack.

Soon after making a killing in the arcades, Mortal Kombat was released on several home systems, including the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo. Both of these ports underwent drastic changes in the process, including audiovisual alterations and downgrades in order to compensate for both of the home systems' limitations. The result was still Mortal Kombat all right, but the Genesis version lacked the visual punch of its big brother, and the graphically-superior SNES version suffered from watered-down violence and stinted controls.

But for the arcade perfectionist, there was a light at the end of the tunnel: The much anticipated Sega CD version was supposed to remedy all the problems of the previous releases and deliver a true arcade experience.

It didn't.

Those who had waited months for the definitive home version of the bloody brawler were sorely disappointed with the final Sega CD product. Instead of emulating the superior graphics of the quarter-cruncher, or even the problematic but pretty Super Nintendo offering, the programmers had simply added a few more frames of animation to the existing Genesis game. It seems like a cheap move, and it was. But thankfully, the reinserted frames turn the stiff, "cardboard cutout" characters of the Genesis version into much more fluid and realistic fighters. Kicks and punches flow much better, and characters bob up and down instead of performing the same three frames of animation indefinitely. Moreover, Sub-zero looks like he did in the arcade, meaning he no longer has to share his fighting stance with his palette swapped rival, Scorpion, in the name of saving ROM space.

It's the same washed out, grainy screen as before.

Unfortunately, the fluid animation doesn't save the graphics from looking grainy and washed out, thanks to the Sega CD's limited color choices and the already lacking Genesis game on which MKCD is based. Johnny Cage's portrait on the character select screen, for example, is a blotchy mess. His teeth are nothing more than a white blob, where as in the arcade version, one could practically count his fillings. Most backgrounds look decent, but some are mysteriously empty (such as the Buddha temple stage). Given the abilities of the Sega CD unit, there is no reason why the graphics couldn't have at least come close to those of the arcade original, yet we're left with a half-hearted hack job that rests somewhere between the Genesis and the SNES ports.

Mercifully, the sound fares much better. The music seems to have been sampled directly from the arcade game and it sets the stage for battle nicely. Foreboding, vaguely Asian tunes compliment the game's dark themes and seedy locales. The fighters grunt and yell during battles, but a few of the screams and groans from the arcade game curiously go missing. The sounds of combat are bland and uninspired, but they get the job done: Generic punching noises accompany every successful hit and a forgettable "wooshing" noise plays whenever a character whiffs a roundhouse kick or takes to the air.

Get over here!

Although there's not much in the way of extra features in the game itself, there is some extra content on the Mortal Kombat CD that can't be found elsewhere. When they first power up the game, players are treated to a grainy video splicing gameplay footage with the old Mortal Kombat TV commercial. (Laughably, the in-game footage is all from the SNES version.) While it's not much on its own, it brings back some fond memories for those of us old enough to remember these infamous ads. Also included are extra songs tacked onto the CD after the normal game music. These tracks are remixes of the now famous Mortal Kombat theme song heard in the intro video, tracks that aren't even on the official Mortal Kombat album! Lastly, the programmers were nice (or lazy) enough to leave the original Genesis cart's "bloodless" fatalities intact in the programming, accessible via a code. While they're all rather shoddy reworkings of existing moves, when you've seen Sub-Zero tear off everyone's head at least 14 million times, it's a fun change of pace.

While the extras on this disc shine, sadly, the actual gameplay doesn't. There are only seven selectable fighters versus the ten or twelve that were common in fighting games of the early 90s, and each character has the same set of basic moves. Ironically, the same uniformity that makes this game so easy to pick up also destroys much of its replay value. What few moves you are in control of are drastically overpowered. Uppercuts send players reeling, foot sweeps can easily be used over and over again to "cheap" your way to victory, and to quote what my friend Ian used to say, "Your jump kick is like a super move." The entire game can be easily conquered with these three attacks alone. There's not much in this game to keep head-to-head fighting freaks battling each other, and even less to keep the solo player interested. Mortal Kombat is fun for a while, but like bouncing on a trampoline, you're eventually going to get a headache from the repetitiveness of it all.

Fatality!

With a six-button controller, it's easy to make the characters do pretty much whatever you want. Impressive uppercuts, deadly fireballs, and crazy flying kicks are mere button taps away. Even the fatalities are easy to perform. Due in part to the simplistic design of the original, a three-button pad works better than one might expect with this game. A pause feature, however, should have been implemented. The start button is used to block incoming attacks on both pads, giving players with the six-button controller their choice of three separate block buttons. Call me old fashioned, but three block buttons is two too many.

Some players have a problem with the loading times in between battles, but it's actually not too bad. It takes about ten seconds for a fight to load, which is about the norm for CD games of the time. And the load time for the fatalities? Milliseconds. Actually, the time in between a successful fatality input and the actual execution (excuse the pun) serves to increase the player's anticipation. Like one of the Sega CD's other fighting games, Eternal Champions, once you hear that CD drive spinning, you know that digitized death is coming your way!

With Mortal Kombat on Sega CD, gamers received a mediocre port of a lackluster game. This disc delivers a better experience than the Genesis cart, but in the same way that Bush managed to defeat Gore in the 2000 United States presidential election: Barely. Though not without its occasional charms, like uppercutting hapless victims into a spike-filled pit below or catching the opponent off guard with Scorpion's notorious spear move, Mortal Kombat on Sega CD (or in any form, for that matter) will likely leave players unimpressed. However, if one boots up this game with few expectations, they're likely to catch themselves having a bit of fun, especially with a second player to face for Mortal Kombat supremacy. The game provides a decent challenge without being too difficult, and it controls easily enough that one can pick up a game pad and, within a few moments, have a fighting chance.

The era of Mortal Kombat dominating the arcades has come and gone, and without the hype (both negative and positive) we are left with a mildly entertaining martial arts romp that's more fun as a nostalgia piece than an actual game. If you can find a copy somewhere on the cheap, pick it up and give it a whirl, especially if you've played the Genesis cart to death. (Ha! That was a pun!) It won't be the best money you ever spent, but it's likely to inspire your friends to imitate whatever it is that Rayden yells during his "superman" move.

And that, my friends, is priceless.